no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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