Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
