Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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