I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
