..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
