My brain says no but my pants say off.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
