So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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