I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
