she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ketchup is God's man juice
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Panties = found
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