Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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