Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
did i just pee glitter
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
