let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
