If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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