...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
