My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
