Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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