So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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