what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
