I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
