he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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