Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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