He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
