here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
