I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
