my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
