Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
