id be glad to
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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