i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
