I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
