I feel like I'm in dance class right now
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
