capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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