I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize