he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
