I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
