with your own penis?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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