Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
