The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
