I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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