And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
