i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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