i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
