I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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