I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
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Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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