Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
