i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
