i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
