What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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