i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
