i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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