To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
