I smell stomach acid.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
