he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This is the high leading the old right now
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
