My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
