He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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