Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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