I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
