You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
