I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
