He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
