if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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