I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
