He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
